Simple Trickery
by Single Rose
Summary: ONESHOT. Batman/Joker. Bruce needs to get that bomb to be terminated before it explodes- but Joker holds the detonator. What will happen when the two face off? Rater T for mild Male on Male action and a teensy bit of violence.


Everybody, this is a little oneshot I wrote with Joker and Batman. I thought I should do a couple little mini stories, as well as my longer one. SO here it is! Enjoy!

Rated T because it doesn't get TOO deep.

Male on Male relationship. Don't like? Don't read.

also, I don't own Batman or any of the characters. I just enjoy pretending to BE them!

This is more of Heath Ledger's Joker and Christian Bale's Batman. Picture it how you want, but that's how I saw it.

Read on!

"Hey, handsome."

It had been the clown's custom to greet the masked vigilante just like that for the past few weeks. It was definitely getting on Bruce's last nerve… but what could he say to the Joker? To stop? That would make him say it even MORE.

"Alright. I've looked everywhere for the detonator. And I know you hate it when I'm not right on the trail. You going to give me a hint, or should I pound it out of you?" Bruce asked angrily.

The fact was that there was another bomb somewhere in the city. Bruce was supposed to 'guess' where this bomb was… but he had thought of a better plan. Find Joker, get the detonator. Then wherever it was, it wouldn't blow up. Plus he still had half an hour.  
"…The detonator? Why would you think it's anywhere else but here, in my hand?" Joker held it up with a slight smile. "Ta da!" He tucked it back into his pants pocket, letting the long, old purple trench coat fall over his rather lanky figure again. "Hey, Bats, don't you think I could blow up one city? Just one? Maybe just a school? You know, you never let me have any fun any more. I used to get away with more." The Joker's grin had turned into a wide, scarred grimace. "Putting me on a tighter leash?"

"Why would I just let you run amok in my city?" Batman asked in a low tone. He was losing time, talking to the Joker.

"Your city? YOUR city? Now Gotham is property of Batman? I don't think so, sweetheart." The Joker stepped past the other on the roof where they stood, on the top of an old apartment complex. "Gotham is in need of a more… interesting owner. Not that I don't think you're up to the job! Just think of it as a demotion." He shrugged his shoulders, fixing his coat and licking his red painted lips.

"…Joker, I don't want to be rational with you. Because you know I can't. I'm not on the same brain wave. We never have been on the same brain wave." The masked vigilante watched the other cautiously, waiting for a knife or a gun… something to show the other had come armed.

"Mm, we never are, huh? How weird." The Joker turned, facing the other. A very… unhappy look was on his face. "Listen Bats. I think we have to level with each other. You like helping people… I like killing them! I like big explosions, and you like all your little fancy gadgets, and saving the day. We're different! And I suppose we should work on trying to sort out those differences!"

"You're going to stop the killings?" Batman asked in a sarcastic voice. He knew that wasn't possible; this clown was a psychopath. Killing and blowing things up was all he knew HOW to do.

"Nah, I can't do it, Bats!"

Batman sighed. "Yeah, I know already. Now hand over the detonator, and stop stalling." He was aware of the surroundings- there were large crates near one side of the flat topped roof, and some old tarps and such on top of those. It was windy out- the wind tousled the Joker's green and blond mane, wet and greasy. Batman's cape went flying on one side of his body in a heroic fashion.

"So stubborn, handsome. Come and get it from me then." He teased, his tongue sticking out a bit more from his lips than normal to taunt the other. Bruce growled, storming over, bringing his fist up. The Joker didn't move, simply staring at the fist, waiting.  
"Aren't you going to dodge?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow. He wanted to see the other's reaction. Just standing there when a fist was coming dead on at your face was a bit strange.

"You'll have to throw the punch to find out, Bats!" Joker cackled, crossing his arms, waiting. The punch landed and the Joker was sent back, flying into the crates. He got up on his elbows, laughing maniacally. "What power! C'mere and do it again!"

Batman obliged, if only to beat the psycho to a bloody pulp. But then he realized- the detonator was going to go off soon. Joker had said 3 o'clock- the large bell tower said 2:56.

Cursing, the hero of Gotham growled, walking forward to the Joker, grabbing his collar and searching underneath the trench coat to find the pocket he had put the detonator. He frowned, glancing at the Joker, who's eyes were closed, his breathing heavy, a slight smirk playing at his broken, torn lips.

"Where did you…" Batman felt the curve of the other's waist, fumbling beneath his blazer to his vest and trying to search. Who knew where the clown could have stuck that thing.

Bruce was also becoming aware of how far his hands were going underneath the clothing in search of this thing. In fact… he blinked, looking down. His hands were fully around the other's hips, a bit too low for comfort. He went to step back, but the Joker's hand suddenly grabbed the cowl of his mask. Instead of pulling it off, he pulled forward, pushing the Bat's body into his own, causing Bruce to gasp in surprise, and Joker in pleasure.

Batman was still trying to find the detonator as his lips suddenly locked with the Joker's who had pulled him down over his slightly smaller frame. Bruce found himself absently searching now, his animalistic nature going to the kiss. The Joker was gaining dominance…  
He pulled forward, suddenly ravaging the clown's lips, pulling him closer to fight until his own tongue had danced into the man beneath's mouth, feeling the slight scars of the broken mouth, and the wet tongue of his sudden kissing companion.

Bruce could not find the detonator. It wasn't that he had searched everywhere- it was that he had given up trying. His eyes shut tight as he felt hands grasping the fabric of his cape, pulling his body down into the kiss more, his own gloved hands at the small of the other's back. It was a pure fight of anger, hatred, and lust. Soon it became dry heaving for air, and Bruce stared at the Joker, who was grinning tiredly, taking a few of his deep breaths.

Batman's hands slid from where they were positioned on the other's waist to suddenly feel a large lump in an inside trench coat pocket. Bruce cursed, pulling out the detonator. He glanced back at the time, then at the clown beneath him. Joker suddenly grabbed the small mechanism from the hero's hand, pressing the button.

Batman lunged, but stopped short when he heard no blast; no sudden blam of cars flying and debris falling. "…Where was the bomb?"  
"All part of the plan, Bats." The Joker stood from his perch, where he had been laying against all the crates and tarp. "…There wasn't a bomb, silly."

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The End. Thanks a lot for reading guys, it means a lot to me!

Single R


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